ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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