Christians are straight up FREAKS
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
