I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
operation harelip BJ is a go
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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