can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
