Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just google imaged poop.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
