Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
