One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
