I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
