i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You were trust falling into bushes
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
