White coat. Heels.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
