gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
