I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
