Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I died a long time ago.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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