He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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