I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We talked him into tasing himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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