You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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