"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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