of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
