its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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