3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
