I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
