I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
