thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
