What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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