Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
