I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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