Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize