The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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