So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
