have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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