Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
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She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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