We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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