I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
