lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
