This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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