it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize