There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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