Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
