porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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