Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
