I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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