ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
