I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize