He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
