I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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