I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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