Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so let's talk penis.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
