You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
