It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
