whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
