Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
