Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
