I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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