He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
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Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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