Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
