I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize