he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That accounts for only three of the penises
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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