Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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