Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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