Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Congratulations! We have a period
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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