There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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