if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
