My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
