they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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