their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize