I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
