Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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