No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize