sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
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Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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